Emily writes: Lately, I’ve noticed that a funny thing happens when I lay off the judgement: Aron and I are more likely to be open to trying the other’s approach. That means that he might ready about toddler behavior, or I’ll make a game out of brushing Sylvia’s teeth, instead of gritting mine.

So on the next Father’s Day (Daddy’s Day), I think I’m going to inaugurate our first annual- Sometimes, Every Once in Awhile, Whaddya Know – Daddy Actually Does Know Best Day, and follow his lead…. at least for the day.

Commentary: Thank you, thank you, thank you. As a Daddy, I will gladly take One Day a Year, to be fully appreciated.

If you would like a full copy of the article by Emily Bloch, please email me at info@daddyscrubs.com

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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Emily writes: “As opposed to the way my wife deals with it, I’d rather not force Xander into a bath when he doesn’t want to take one, and then have to deal with his screaming and crying,” says Jarosh. “So I’ll set something up like, ‘Do you want to tackle Daddy one more time or two more times before the bath?’”

Why Mommys’ are different: “Daddys generally avoid emotional head to head with kids.” says Pruett. “Mommys are more likely to think ‘If you love me, you’ll do what I say.’ Daddys tend to think they’re going to lose those battles. So they tease or divert – they can get their kids to do what they need them to do without making it a life-or-death matter.”

Mr Daddy Commentary: Well, OK, that says it all in a nutshell. This is not only how daddys and mommys handle the babies, it is also how it works out in the relationship and in real life. Us daddy’s try to avoid the emotional hammer, and it is true we do not want a life-or-death situation on every conflict. We try to avoid conflict whenever possible. A joke, a smile, a tap on the butt, we do our best, but when it comes down to one on one, have at it, mommy is usually right, and usually wins. So why should we be expected to be any different in our child raising thoughts and actions. Bottom line, Mr Lincoln loves to wrestle, and if he chooses two more wrestles, and then bath. OK with me!!!

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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We left off with Mommy jumping from the shower to help Ava, and Daddy just peeking out from the curtain to make sure she is OK. Which are you?

Why Mommys’ are different: “Dads often let their children get more frustrated than moms will,” says Pruett, “They seem to feel it’s important for kids to learn to sort out problems on their own. It’s the way dads prepare their kids for the real world.”

Dealing with the Difference: Although it may look like your husband doesn’t care as much as you do about your child, he does. He just doesn’t talk about it.

In the real world that means that the next time the baby cries, let him deal with it his way ( just put in earplugs). As long as you trust that your kids are okay, it’s better for them (and for you) to occasionally keep your protective instincts under wraps.

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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Emily writes: “I’m willing to let Ava cry or fuss a little longer than my wife is,” says James Bolton of Oakland, California, of their 7-month-old. “If I’m taking a shower and I hear her cry while she sitting there in her bouncy seat, I’ll peek out to see if she’s in distress. If she’s not, I tell her I’m almost done. But when my wife is showering and hears her cry, she”ll get out and grab her.”

Mr Daddy Commentary: What!!!! They are taking a shower behind a shower curtain, and putting the 7-month-old in a bouncy in the bathroom to entertain herself??? This would never happen at our house, Mr Daddy and Mrs Daddy will take a “stinky” day, before doing that. Sorry James….

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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Emily writes: “We’ll set up imaginary football fields, and just play ball forever.” says Rob Jarosh of Cheyenne, Wyoming, who devotes plenty of silly time to his 3-year-old son, Xander. “or he’ll walk around with a wooden spoon and pretend he’s singing into a microphone – he’ll give me a cardboard paper-towel roll and have me pretend it’s a trumpet.”

Why mommy’s are different: Goofing off does seem to come easier to many dads, Seeing their parents feel free enough to be wacky, without concentrating on schedules or how long it takes food to cook, can be a valuable lesson for kids, says Renner, who thinks mommys still bear most of the burden for making sure the house is clean, dinner is on the table, and the kids are on schedule.

Dealing with the difference: Since feeling responsible for everything doesn’t leave much room for fun, try reversing the roles a little. If your husband can’t cook dinner a couple of times a week, make a simple meal of sandwiches and use the extra time to have fun with your kids.

Commentary: HMMMMMM. I am the entertainer in our house, but I thought it was just by default. I simply cannot help myself, if Mrs Daddy, and Mr Lincoln are always laughing at my jokes, and love my entertainment, it only encourages me to do more. And Mrs Daddy, runs the household, so I am not sure I am allowed to cook or set the schedules even if I wanted to…. I will tell you privately, that I have heard Mrs Daddy entertaining Mr Lincoln, singing songs, and playing games, while at the same time, “running the household”.

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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Emily writes:
“I dress my daughter often,” says Al Weiss of Tinton Falls, New Jersey, dad of 11-month old Elisabeth. “I might put certain clothes on backward because I can’t find a tag. My wife will say, ‘This goes with that’. But as long as my daughter is warm and happy, I am too.”

Why Moms Are Different: “Moms’ routines and standards probably spring from their feeling and responsibility for everything to be perfect,” Renner says, “And lets face it, no one is thinking, ‘Why did her dad(dy) dress her in that?”

Dealing with the Difference: I probably care more about how Sylvia looks than I do about myself (scratch that: I definitely care more about Sylvia). But I’ve been able to strike a deal with Aron: On the days when he’s doing kid duty, he gets complete dibs on her wardrobe, and I say nothing.

Commentary by Mr Daddy: This is just a natural part of evolution. I can stand in Lincoln’s closet and stare at all the clothes and have no idea what to pick or what goes with what. I make my selection based on, does it look comfortable, and are the top and bottom somewhat matching in color. On the other hand, Mrs Daddy, knows in her head, what he will be wearing all week, as well as to special events, etc. She can pick out “great” outfits in seconds. So the bottom line, she picks and I get him dressed. Works!!
Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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Emily writes:
The last time I took Sylvia to get her ears checked for an infection, the doctor said, “She doesn’t have one yet, but with her history, I think you should fill the prescription now and give it to her when it’s gotten worse.” That’s when I decided to be more like Aron and not follow her advice (at least this time). Because I’m less concerned with being “right” in the eyes of the authority figure these days than I am with doing what’s right for my child (even if it means I have to drag her back, screaming, for another ear check).

Commentary: Oh my. This is a big issue since in our home, Mrs Daddy and Mr Daddy are both pharmacists and have quite the opinion on giving antibiotics for prophylactic infections. In the story above, I am not quite sure if she ignored the advice and went ahead and started Sylvia on the medication, or if she ignored the advice and did not get the prescription filled at all.

We believe that antibiotics are over prescribed and over used, and this is causing an exponential growth in resistant forms of bacteria. I am sure you have all heard of MRSA, (if not send me an email), but there are another 10 or so isolated bacteria that are way worse than MRSA. Could it really all start from day one when we are treating a “potential” ear infection? There is a lot to be said for building a “natural” immune system. Sleeping soundly, eating healthy natural foods, drinking a lot of water, and taking care of our bodies can go a long way towards developing a strong natural and healthy immune system that can last decades. It really does start at ground zero.

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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We left off yesterday with the Daddy wanting to know “why” the mommy is insisting on a new direction for the upbringing of their child. The Daddy says, just because someone says so, why does it matter?

Emily writes: Women are more sensitive to getting it ‘right’, since it used to be if anything’s wrong with the child, the mother’s to blame. Also, they tend to compare notes with other parents more than dads do.

Dealing with the difference: There’s a time and place to get help and information from others, but it’s also good to have the confidence to rely on your own instincts. In the end, no one knows your kids better than you.

Commentary: I will have to go with “mommy’s are more sensitive than daddy’s” and this trait has served our world well. GOD had a plan and that was part of it. I am glad Mrs Daddy is more sensitive than me, could you imagine if both parents were not as sensitive to the our babies needs? I love how genuine, sensitive and caring Mrs Daddy is to our family, I would not want it any other way.

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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My wife can be a little anal about following advice, but I’m more likely to feel that we know what’s best for us”, says Clark Avery of San Francisco, dad of 14-month-old Andee. “I go back to: If you’re asking me to do something different from what I normally do, is there proof to show why the new way is better? If not, then it’s just a matter of opinion.”

Why moms are different: Renner says that this is a typical split (after all guys won’t ask for directions, either):

Commentary: A couple of thoughts. The first is that my wife always has a plan, and she knows the direction she wants to go with our son in his care and upbringing. Many many times I question her and debate with her, but the bottom line she is right at least 98% of the time, the other 2% I dance the jig, high five myself, and congratulate myself with a beer for being right. Secondly, thank goodness for GPS, now guys are justified with not having to ask directions, I have always thought, why ask for directions, like that guy on the corner is going to know more than me….. geeeeez!!

Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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Dealing with the difference: tolerate only what your comfortable with. But when i see Sylvia playing with Aron or running around outside, I try to ask myself: Is she really in danger, or is it just hard for me to watch? Would a stumble from where she is truly harm her, or just hurt a little bit?
Or do as my friend Laurie does and remove yourself from the situation. For instance, when she and her family are at the beach, she literally turns her chair around to face away from the water because although she knows her kids are safe with their dad(dy), it makes her nervous to watch them play in the waves.

Commentary: Not really sure what to say here. It is scary to watch your child take risks. And, there is always the chance they could really hurt themselves very badly. I wish I had the perfect answer. As a Daddy, I would prefer to watch and hope that my smile, or look, or when they are very young, my hands and arms are there to reach out, just in case they fall.
Sincerely,
Mr Daddy

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